My grandfather, Lukey, was one of my favorite people. During high school and college, I worked with him on Saturdays at the laundromat he ran. Besides washers and dryers, it also housed a coin-operated dry cleaning service. My job was to speedily get the dry-cleaned items out of the machine and onto hangers before they wrinkled.

At five foot, four inches, Lukey could be described as a bantam rooster. Strong-minded, to his benefit as well as his detriment, he found humor in most things. Especially his own absent-mindedness.

A good example was when I took my eight-year-old sister, Judy, to his house. He offered us something to drink. Bringing out a two-liter bottle of root beer, he asked if we wanted a brown cow. Which is root beer and milk. We didn’t. With no more in our soda than ice, my grandfather served us, all the while talking about brown cows, likely including an anecdote or two about them.

 As Lukey prattled on, I noticed Judy getting restless, opening her mouth to speak but unable to get a word in edgewise. Then I saw it. My grandfather was attempting to pour the root beer with the lid still on the bottle. He not only had no idea it was on there, he was unaware that no drink was pouring out.

I jumped in. “Pop-pop, the lid’s on.”

He laughed, removed the cap, and continued his story barely missing a beat. One of the many instances I’ve laughed about for years. He was delightful, a great pleasure to be with.

But not for everyone.

During quiet times at the laundromat, he regaled me with the most fascinating stories about Fair Haven, the small New Jersey town we both lived in. In the 1920s, he was the caddy master at the highly exclusive Rumson Country Club. He spoke of a heavy-weight champion boxer who wanted to become a member.

While never mentioning his name, research leads me to believe it was a New Zealander, Tom Heeney, who’d become the champion in his home country and in Australia. In 1926, he came to America to add to his accomplishments. One of which was boxing Ernest Hemingway in the Bahamas. They became fast friends with Heeney calling the author “a real man.”

But I’m getting ahead of myself. By 1928, Heeney was training in our little town of Fair Haven for a heavyweight match against Gene Tunney held in Yankee Stadium. I assume it was then my grandfather met him.

Lukey told me the man wanted to join the prestigious Rumson Country Club, but they were hesitant to have a former plumber within their ranks. They told the successful boxer he needed to be worth a million dollars to be considered. Heeney had enough assets to fulfill that requirement.

No, the club’s officers told him. He had to have the amount in liquid assets.

According to my grandfather, he sold what he needed to get the required money. Once again, the boxer approached the membership committee. They gave in. He could join.

“No, thank you,” Heeney said and walked away. He’d just wanted to show that he could.

I have no proof of this, but that’s the story according to Lukey.

I feel more confident in the next story. My grandfather said he was at a local watering hole where Heeney was also knocking back a few. I don’t know what Lukey said to him, but I’m sure he was headstrong and adamant about whatever it was.

Apparently, the heavyweight champ took exception, losing his temper to the point where he jacked my undersized grandfather off his feet until they were eye-to-eye. At that point, Lukey held up his hand with the index and pinky fingers extended.

“Put me down,” he said, “or I’ll poke your eyes out.”

Whether stunned or amused, the boxer complied. Beat down averted!

Heeney went on to lose the celebrated match in Yankee Stadium, but for my grandfather, it was Bantam Rooster 1, Heavyweight Champ 0.

Works Cited

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tom_Heeney_LOC.jpg

Interesting FiNgZ [@FiNgZ]. “Ex New Zealand Heavy-Weight Boxer & one time challenger for the heavy-weight title of the world. Tom Heeney. Goes toe to toe with his drinking buddy Ernest Hemingway.” 8 June 2022. https://twitter.com/ifingz/status/1534600738369728512

“New Zealand Legend: Tom Heeney Training for Gene Tunney – 1928 Colorized.” Www.youtube.com, 21 Apr. 2023, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-NwqKuj5WU. Accessed 1 Mar. 2024.

Stanley, Ben. “Remembering Hemingway’s Heavyweight Bromance with a Kiwi Plumber.” Vice, 1 Apr. 2016, http://www.vice.com/en/article/vvweym/remembering-hemingway39s-heavyweight-bromance-with-a-kiwi-plumber-us-translation. Accessed 1 Mar. 2024.

“Tom Heeney.” Wikipedia, 26 Apr. 2023, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Heeney. Accessed 1 Mar. 2024.